Gremlins Online!

I have a toaster.

Actually it isn’t just A toaster, it is THE toaster that I dreamed of when I married my wife. It was exactly the one I wanted us to have. Let me clarify: I wanted this toaster, she didn’t care. My “techie toaster” as she called it was all that was at the forefront of my brain as I was married. (aside from spending the rest of my life with a beautiful and forgiving wife that will not murder me for blog posts….I hope) I am pretty sure I rushed the ceremonies to simply get to the gift opening portion of the day to bask in the unadulterated glory which was my toaster. (The photo is a stock picture of the toaster we own, I assure you the reality is far from that beautiful after 6 years of abuse and would not be disgraced with bagels.)

Skip forward 6 years now. I woke up this morning with a dire craving, nay a NEED for waffles. I went and pulled the delightful blueberry Eggo waffles from the freezer, and as I loaded the 4-slot toaster I came to two disturbing realizations.

1. There are 10 waffles in the box.
2. There are 4 slots in the toaster.

I lowered my four waffles into the chrome slots with a certain hesitation, as I now understood why I lay awake at night.

I will have two waffles left over when all is said and done. This is an issue that must be resolved lest the earth hurtle into the sun.

There was no way around it, I wanted to eat my waffles but the cruel Eggo corporation decided to play a cruel joke to eviscerate my dreams of consistent 4 waffle breakfasts.
First, I toyed with the idea of making only 2 waffles, but then I determined that would be a waste of my toaster’s toasting prowess. If you feel I am being unreasonable, then take two wheels off your car and see how things go on your morning commute.

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